Venezuela Becomes Leading Arms Purchaser; Hugo Chavez Now Looks Like King Crab

Venezuela has recently become the largest arms purchaser in Latin America. Since Hugo Chavez, as the President with dictatorial powers, gets more of the arms shipments than anyone else, he now looks like a king crab.

The crab-like impression is increased by how red-faced he becomes when he talks about America and George W. Bush.

Clawing his way to the podium to make another speech vilifying the United States, he ridiculed President Bush for making a trip to Latin America, assuring his audience that George would be met with a cool reception and return to the land of the gringo with his tail between his legs. No doubt the thought never occurred to Chavez that he might be projecting his own wishes.

He also defended his nations right to bear arms and, waving his own ample number of them, said, We need all the arms we can get to defend ourselves from the United States, which at this very moment is drawing up plans to invade Venezuela.

While most of the people in the audience remain fiercely loyal to him, there may have been a few devotees who, beholding his new resemblance to a king crab, imagined him being dropped into a steaming pot, which he himself has had the wisdom to overheat.

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