CATEGORIES

Last 5 comments              All

TAGS                 All

wife looner popping ba almeza multiset guida guest/grammar female arousal during climbing fishing what to get someone wh top 10 reaons to buy h red planet grammar cliparts definition of job invo lenovo laptop price competency for medical new movie release date poker body language women execution

STATS

Categories:30
Articles: 60639
Comments: 0
Tags: 51640
Total Views: 4320748

Advertisement

Moving From a Romantic Twosome to a Solid Stepcouple and Stepfamily - Article 3

ARTICLE THREE:
BARGAINING AND DEPRESSION

How Can I Get Relief or Feel Better?

Were continuing the series on the range of emotions and behaviors stepcouples struggle with as they adjust from a romantic twosome to solid stepcouple and stepfamily. The next stage is BARGAINING - seeking ways to escape or looking for the cure.

You must be realizing by now and feeling assured that youre not alone in this adjustment process. That doesnt diminish the power of your feelings fear, anger, jealousy, and even desperation at times. You still love your spouse but thats not the problem. The problem is that your idyllic relationship is heading downhill fast, due to the tugs and pulls of the kids, the exes, busy schedules, to say nothing of todays scary economic news. Consciously or unconsciously, you think of ways of how to get through this and save your marriage. Youre grasping at hope and maybe a little magic.

This brings up vivid memories. I remember lying in bed at night dreaming up ways to get relief from our two sets of kids, who we had 24/7. I thought maybe our exes could take them more often, which I knew was impossible. Maybe I could find after school programs and camps for our 5 kids, somewhat feasible, but not very. At the end of my rope, I thought maybe a boarding school would work. Isnt there someplace I can get relief? I owned the pity potthats for sure. These feelings were particularly bad after arguments with the kids or with my husband about the kids.

I amused myself during those long sleepless nights planning my husbands and my next getaway during the rare window when the kids werent with us. Those times together were wonderful, but we always had to come home to guess what - same old, same old.

I thought of running away or getting a job outside the house, but I needed to stay at home and take care of the kids! I was trapped.

The pressure was building and taking its toll on our romantic relationship. What happened to that glow? Wed find ourselves being negative and sarcastic with each other, openly fighting, or dishing out the silent treatment. The topic was always the same - THE KIDS. Hed side with his kids, and Id side with mine. We were not being good models for blending a family.

Bargaining wasnt working, so I slipped into DEPRESSION. I FELT LIKE A FAILURE. I wasnt keeping my promises to cherish and care for the kids. I felt sad and angry a lot. I was drinking a little too much wine at night. The kids were seeking attention in numerous negative ways. No one was happy. It felt like we were at the bottom of a hole struggling to claw our way out.

Then one day after complaining to a friend, she brought it to my attention. She asked What did you expect? She went on to say You married a man with kids. Hes going to love and protect his kids, no matter what! And furthermore, be glad that hes a loving dad. She nailed me! I asked her BUT WHAT ABOUT ME? She didnt answer.

That did it! I got it that it wasnt about me. I was supposed to be the adult, but I certainly wasnt acting or feeling like one. I needed to grow up and change my attitude.

That was my first step toward adjustment and acceptance.

The final two articles in this series will be focusing specifically on how stepcouples can grow together and raise healthy children - his, hers, and theirs in a blended family. If done with love, respect and mutual support, I cant think of anything more ROMANTIC! Can you?


Comments


Releated Articles

anal video
: